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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24015652">knowings.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shiiyo/pseuds/Shiiyo'>Shiiyo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A Pretty Dark Story, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, SasuNaru - Freeform, Short Story, inspired by fillers with sasuke feeling inferior to itachi, inspired by the Man of the World OST, inspired by the very first official fight sasuke and naruto had where sasuke left him unconscious, naruto is hopeless, sasuke is confused but doesnt know it and takes it out on naruto, sasuke is very power hungry, sorry about this, this is noncon, this is not a love story</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:54:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,083</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24015652</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shiiyo/pseuds/Shiiyo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>what if naruto had drowned that day?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>64</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. fault</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>he lay there in the damp, grainy earth, crippled under the inky night of the drained village. the waters rush vaingloriously beneath the Uchiha's trembling feet, and he gazes earthward, fixated on the familiarity of its disconnected movement. the Uzumaki, embedded in shallow gravel and dirt, counters the prickling, acidic pain of the previous conflict the two shared with an attempt to stand. he collapses sooner than he rises, succumbing to the effects of overexertion and numbing failure.</p>
<p>the Uchiha softens his gaze with time, focusing into what he has ultimately destroyed. he knows his prospects for the future begins with this. he understands he must finish his work, but he disregards the notion of contrition his body signals throughout his limbs. the same aching pangs of betrayal and loss. the closer he was to the other, just to hear his stifles of struggle and agony, the deeper the internal wounds bore into him.</p>
<p>he inspects the life seeping away from him and does not approach. he stands near the water instead to dissect its appearance. he falls calmer, and focuses, as he reconnects.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>
  <em>"i hope you'll be alike your great big brother one day," Fugaku's voice is affirmative and heavy over the rushing waters, but not quite satisfied. Sasuke watches with crestfallen, obsidian eyes as the very utterance of the familiar figure forms in the man's lips. he is panting, lips reddened from the continued, failed attempts of the renowned clan's jutsu. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>it is always Itachi, it seems. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> "father," the young boy fixes to direct his father's focus, "i am becoming much stronger! i'd even be able to surpass Itachi, i know it!" his eyes flicker in his newfound confidence despite the circumstance, and they light up as he continues.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> "i'm this close! please watch me try the fireball jutsu once more. i can do it—" </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> his father is swift in the interjection. he is unpersuaded and disbelieving. "you are not at Itachi's level, even at this age. there is no use in trying right now," Fugaku eyes the boy with a lasting sternness, and turns to leave. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Sasuke resists his urges to submerge in the waters below to suffocate, because it seemed even the expanse of the body seemed fixated on the image of his older brother. he dreamed Itachi owned his pride, and left no trace of it. he felt Itachi was the one whom overshadowed his purpose and only delivered him essence to his name and sweet life when he felt sickened from the constant praise. </em>
</p>
<p><em> Sasuke observes the reflection that bounces back at him from the river every visit. he sees nothing of himself. the river despises what it sees when Sasuke returns, bare with his own temporary individuality, separate from his older brother. his parents were the tentacles of the machine that enraptured Sasuke's life with false reality. </em> <em> he was not Sasuke unless Itachi sucks his way into his life to strike him of his identity, despite the multitude of strengths he possessed and worked for. alone.  </em></p>
<p>
  <em> "you aren't proud of me," Sasuke grouses, now in the distance where his father halts feet away, "because i'm not how Itachi has been?" </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Fugaku remains momentarily, but refuses to answer. soon he disappears into his home, leaving the boy there. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Sasuke strains his gaze at the waters, spotting Itachi despite where he looked. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> he allows for himself to hang above the now tranquil river, legs dangling in silent despair. he waits for the image to rot and disappear. he hopes it can, but he knows better. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> . </em>
</p>
<p>silence approaches under the nightfall. Naruto is breathing lightly under Sasuke's observation.</p>
<p>the two fall into a vacant stare of half-lidded and ill-intent irises. hatred ghosts between their distance but the energy feels fairly synthetic. Sasuke never hated Naruto, and Naruto the same. the friendship was built teetering of the edge, and will cease in the same fashion.</p>
<p>Naruto's eyes plant on the other<em> — </em>all the gold, cerulean, and porcelain oozes out of him to no end, and Sasuke's inner thoughts circle around the development of the circumstances. what he has done, he could not take back.</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sasuke," the Uzumaki churns suddenly, nearly lifelessly, and Sasuke stands and awaits for movement. Naruto's cheeks become ruddy under the six thin lines, and his eyes mist with uncharacteristically sorrowful tears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sasuke nearly apologizes, fixes to mend what he has ripped. "i've finally strayed from the regulation of what i've known for so, so long," he husks and kneels before the fallen other. "i know no pity. i know what i've done," he states evenly. the shadows of distant coppice lay onto his features, swerving and sifting, as the dark furthers and buries them both.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Naruto allows for his hands to grip at his sight, furiously whisking away the wetness. his arms fall to his sides, and there is a hollowness to his eyes that numb out the beauty. there remains a small glisten within the blueness, only to give light to the fact that he's been tearing up. the red puffiness accent his despairing appearance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"you are my best friend," Sasuke tests these words above the other's silent cry, disliking the way it bares him. his jet-black tresses are long enough to blanket his oncoming emotional pain. "but i had to rot away my inconveniences before i became unworthy of chance. far too gone, in other words."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Naruto is unseeing. he does not try to understand what his comrade meant, but he knew this had been unfair to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the only friendship he's ever truly owned, although misted and clouded by bottoming hatred, could no longer be.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. credence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"i will find a center in you, i will chew it up and leave<br/>i will work to elevate you, just enough to bring you down."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>PLEASE BE WARNED. Sasuke performs noncon and kills Naruto.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> his stare did not fail as he watched his older brother from across the dinner table. the very way the man replenished himself was otherworldly, alike his unmatched skills in anything else. he understood what it was his father and mother admired and encouraged in him, but he could never attempt to replicate it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> the evening meal finishes, and the siblings are left to tend to dishes. Sasuke fixes to communicate with the other with some form of frail confidence, but remains where he sits. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Itachi directs focus at the boy momentarily, and Sasuke switches his gaze to meet the inspecting eyes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "is something on your mind, Sasuke?" he begins, curious and lighthearted. </em>
</p><p><em> Sasuke is delicate in response: "nothing... big brother." </em> <em> and it becomes vivid that Itachi disbelieves the affirmation, but understands the limit of his own patience. he will wait for the moments Sasuke divulges his thoughts, fears, and motives, but only when he learns to trust him. </em></p><p>
  <em> "that is fine, then," the older brother utters finely.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> dishes lightly clink together. it is the only sound that spreads throughout and extinguishes the silence, and Sasuke comes to realize the multiple circumstances of the relationship he and his brother share. he has distaste for it, but it will not change, no matter his actions. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "do you want help?" he offers the other, busy in the works. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> the response is a turn of the head and a pure gleam of a welcoming grin. he sees this as an opportunity. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sasuke strolls over to the sink and stands next to the other, toppling his stature by several inches. he is unembarrassed, but particular and curious of how to interact with Itachi. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> he is handed a dirtied plate in somewhat of a haste. the sink rushes its flow over the disused food prints, and Sasuke watches the process with a detached sense of focus. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> the eldest speaks with lightness, but the abruptness of his voice pangs the younger boy's ears like thunder. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "you don't want to keep the faucet on," Itachi switches the sink off and points to a large bowl full of soaped water. "let's wash the dishes in here until we need it again." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sasuke stares at the bowl, then sulks at the edge of the metallic section of the counter. he had simple common sense like this, but somehow couldn't afford to put it to use, at least not when Itachi was involved. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "what is wrong?" Itachi notices the mood change. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "you're really better than me at everything, aren't you? even at something like this," his dispirited obsidian orbs peer into his brother's and observes how reserved and refined they are compared to his own due to age difference. he could not detect any specific emotion from them, but he also found this strangely admirable, and unattainable. he was very good at hiding the things he wished to keep confidential. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Itachi releases his current dish into the bowl. "this is far from the truth," he returns, pushing a halfhearted, breathy laugh out from his throat. "is this a repeated train of thought?" he wants to learn more about what he has suspected right from the start. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "i don't think it, i know it," Sasuke corrects. "father knows it. mother knows it. i'm the sole nuisance of this family." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "you own the most compassion in this household, aside from mother," Itachi relinquishes the easy truth from the forefront of his mind, but it seems to only upset the other even more. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "i am not strong," he counters, "and without strength, my compassion does not matter. if i can't be like you, mother, father, and the entire clan will disapprove of me!" Sasuke cannot stand in silence and focus on the matter any longer. he continues working at the dishes, angered and consumed with shame. "they already do," he murmurs.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "i found it has become increasingly difficult to live in the shadow of others... mocking others' actions, fulfilling your name," Itachi continues, "how do these things hold worth? they are the wrongful approaches to the abundance and purposefulness of life. mother and father may not understand these conditions, but they only hope you seek your power before you cannot." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> the young Uchiha is prompt in his questioning. "i can't keep trying to follow their contradictions. it's confusing and too much at once, but they seem to give you slack. so, why does this only happen to me?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "our parents are an enigma. certainly father is," Itachi partially agrees. "he is a man to deeply respect my abilities, but he worships your development." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sasuke blinks incredulously, almost believing the claim. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "but i need to train more to be enough. i want to surpass you, Itachi, and even him." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Itachi is not surprised. he stands bothered and cautious. he visualizes the moments his younger brother succumbs to the destructive desire to misuse power, and he cannot accept the possibility.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "be mindful of this wish." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> . </em>
</p><p>Sasuke locks into the nothingness of his mind, lost to hatred and inconsolable thoughts. facing the Uzumaki, an object of vengeance and no longer anything more, the Uchiha reaches for some variation of a black collar, tugging the bright orange fabric that leans on the other.</p><p>Naruto verbalizes his confusion, his jacket melting from his tanned shoulders alongside the obsidian shirt that now lay disused against the earth. his torso pierces the night, tan and prominent, as Sasuke loosens the fabric about his thighs in leisure.</p><p>the Uzumaki lies in wait, wishes to leave now to avoid the following events, but cannot. the Uchiha grips the other's shoulder like stone, guiding his body further towards the earth amidst the pants and whimpers, and Naruto remains locked in.</p><p>"kill me," Naruto is barely able to slither his speech, and gasps at the tightening grip upon his shoulders, "before you do this to me, Sasuke."</p><p>Sasuke gazes at the hurt in the muted ceruleans, unseeing and uncaring, even at the mentioning of his name. but at least he genuinely wishes he cares.</p><p>"where is the fun in that?" he husks in response.</p><p>his pants pool around his upper legs as he strokes his length, guiding Naruto's legs around the front of his body after the preparation. he's never found himself to be sexually attracted to the Uzumaki, solely affectionate towards his traits and cantankerous yet charming character. he is like none other, and he doesn't deserve this, but he's taken years to mull over his older brother's calm words. his time in the village was ending—it had to, or else he'd have no chance in fulfilling the extent of his own power.</p><p>this was only the first step. these moments were to represent his revolution of purpose in life.</p><p>Sasuke slowly positions himself into Naruto as he tenses beneath him. the pressure extends further than the extent his body could withstand, and Sasuke comprehends this weakness as he enters halfway with an utter lack of warning. </p><p>"Sasuke," the tears flow relentlessly, ripping through the tight slits for Naruto's hopeless eyes. he couldn't say more.</p><p>the both of them lay unclothed, rocking in a settled speed that Naruto could hardly endure. the ground scrapes his skin like a grate, drawing new and prominent wounds. </p><p>Sasuke considers his own disbelief for the situation and how he owns no sense of remorse for his actions. he knows his position, and if consequences await him, he will be prepared. </p><p>he leans further into Naruto, lips ghosting above the scars and wounds but does not dare to kiss them to ease him. </p><p>Naruto's whines dispel into the air. he knows Sasuke's intention. this was something to render him terrorized, abused, and failed in the end, if he felt nice. his voice is raspy and tight. he pleads for the Uchiha to stop, to allow him breath, but the actions are ongoing nonetheless. the Uchiha's dark eyes pierce into those squinting cerulean, and his breaths fuse with the growing moans. he feels nothing emotionally. </p><p>"i thought you were stronger than this, Naruto," Sasuke huffs and teases. a smirk efforts across his face. </p><p>"d-don't... mock me!" Naruto clips. he is under immense and inexplicable pain, like nothing he has ever felt before, and fights the senses that trigger his body to fall unconscious.</p><p>nothing of what has happened to his physical self amounts to his emotional anguish. he hates that he cares that much, and Sasuke not at all. he despises the extent in which he's tried to keep Sasuke home and ultimately failing in the end. he has dishonored himself.</p><p>Naruto's hair dirties from the mud of the earth, and the ruddiness of his cheeks run a bit more prominent. it is almost as if Sasuke understands what it takes to emasculate him, and knows it without hesitance; without practice. all of this continued fucking, and he refuses to even love him as a friend. </p><p>the friction and tightness trap the Uchiha in a serene warmth after a few minutes, and he doesn't dare stop. the movements are relentless as he speeds into a different set rhythm now, and the cerulean-eyed blond helplessly bounces underneath the vitriolic motions. he is breathless to the point of blacking out, and his fear only grows. </p><p>Sasuke remembers the Uzumaki's common petulance in more lighthearted situations. it had been out of place to manipulate Naruto into a writhing, breathy mess, but the sight is worthwhile. the Uzumaki boasts his self-confidence in the most inappropriate situations, so it had been enjoyable to find that this particular one was inapplicable.</p><p>Sasuke's voice is the deepest within this passion. "<em> breathe.. </em>. usuratonkachi."</p><p>"please, don't say anything," Naruto drawls out as he gasps for precious air, extending his grip onto the ground to grasp the roughness of the gravel. Sasuke hears the waters growl in the distance, and tries his best to dismiss any flashbacks.</p><p>vibrations circle around Naruto's body until they pool over the lower section, and his eyes gaze through the pure sable in the depths of the Uchiha's eyes, searching for some instance of humanity. he turns his head when he finds none. </p><p>"p-please, Sasuke," he whimpers out, shaking his head. "finish already."</p><p>but this lasts for moments unknown. time only seems to trudge until Naruto bursts into a fit of hitched breathes and cries as the other grunts and releases in sudden. the thick liquid fills and clouds his senses, and he hardens and softens his grip on Sasuke's broad shoulders. he continues to fuck the boy slowly, focused and carefully, until Naruto releases just the same. </p><p>Sasuke pulls away before Naruto could lightly shove him, wiping away the evidence from his pale stomach. he gathers his pants and shirt, dresses himself, and rises. he has become so destroyed by his own hatred, he fails to think twice as he wrenches Naruto's limbs to drag him. the Uchiha elicits such painful reactions; the sounds of agonizing pain he's never wanted to hear from him, but knew it would be inevitable not to. he's caused this. </p><p>the Uzumaki is hauled by the waters and his head rests by the edge. Sasuke hesitates as he glances at the somber blue eyes. his hands grip the other's throat still, pushing Naruto close enough that the tips of his tresses soak in the river, but Sasuke could not help but feel something within himself break into shards, bringing him back into some form of controlled reality for only one moment. </p><p>"this isn't about you," he tells Naruto in the equivalence of a whisper, but does not expect him to quite register his words. he forgets his pain and slowly forces Naruto's head in the river. "i have to continue my path." </p><p>his head is now completely submerged, and strangely enough, he does not struggle against the hands that murder him. it was not like Uzumaki Naruto to welcome death, but he'd been that ruined. </p><p>Sasuke wonders what Naruto saw in the moments leading up to his death. it had been minutes since he's first contacted the water, and his body stilled only seconds after. the Uchiha pulled him from the waters to observe his features in those same seconds, and observed no trace of pain. it was a haunting face of nothingness and placidity, and the appearance was indeed permanent. </p><p>Sasuke allows the body to sink under. he surmises he was accustomed to the reality of death by now, but this one had been different and personal. there was nothing he could do. his mind races so uncontrollably to the point where he forces his thoughts to come to a complete halt.</p><p>the air is peculiarly sour and thick, thick enough to suffocate from.</p><p>the Uchiha continues to stand and watch the erratic river. he saw nothing of himself or Itachi.</p><p>his eyes only reflect the motionless Uzumaki no matter where he looked. he's stared at him long enough for the imprint to last.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i literally wrote all of this in exhaustion. this is definitely not the type of fanfiction i enjoy making, but listening to man of the world calls me to make something like this. it's also a very uncertain time in the world rn so... the "hopelessness" mood pretty much fits into the perspective of a lot of people. i know i'm not the only one.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>im always writing shit that i never finish, so i settled for a short story. i'm separating this into two different chapters to give readers an additional warning about the noncon on the second chapter. definitely didn't double check any spelling or grammar errors; i'm just bored out of my mind from quarantining.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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